Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Weekend gone wild

Interruption no. 1

You’ve heard about it, perhaps you’ve even tasted it. I am talking about a perfect relaxing weekend. No strings attached. Only plenty of sun and nothing to do but indulge yourself in little treats. This weekend is drastically standing out of the sea of rainy metallic weekends followed one by one in April and even May. In this story you are sipping your very late early morning coffee and nibbling a fresh croissant. La dolce vita in the twenty-first century. As if this peaceful perfection wasn’t enough, you see a man in the distance. A very well looking man, indeed. As he’s approaching closer, a familiar shiver runs thorough your body. It feels like you have met him before. Yes. You have met him before, indeed. A romance gone bad on two feet.

It ended childishly. With phone calls in the middle of the night and pretense the next day about nonexistence of the call. Of course, you weren’t the one making that call. However, you were the one who left the battlefield with a strong unpleasant taste that you had liked the idea of a relationship more than he did. It doesn’t matter. He made that silly phone call. Not you. You won in a way. Or that’s what ladies like to think.
As all that memories briskly flash through your thoughts, you don’t even notice he’s gone. Went in his direction. Did not see you. What? Again, true woman kicks in and you wish he had seen you. But who needs racing heart and destruction of a perfect moment? So, you rather go back to indulging yourself. You take a stroll down the river and you check the new antiques on a market next to it. Funky thoughts have vanished.

Interruption no. 2

Walking slowly to yet another bar. You feel like grabbing a cake. A splurging chocolate one. Mmm... your favorite place is waiting. Even the right waiter is in the shift. Then, you see him. Another him. A crush not so recently forgotten. Choosing a distant table with a pretty view on his pretty smile sounds like a good idea. A dinner and a show, only it’s a cake and a smile.

Interruption no. 3

As the day starts to transform into the night, it’s time to drive home and get ready for the evening life. Whatever city can offer. Nothing can surprise you anymore, since you’ve seen it all today. La-la-la-la... the radio plays one of your favorite oldies. Red traffic light. You pause. Green. Turning right. Waiting for the pedestrians. And bikes. Hm. What? Him again? The first him from the tale.
Help. A man down. You dreamt occasionally about running him over. With his stupid I didn’t make that phone call (it was his friend, the rumor has it). No, he is still standing. Well, riding a bike, more precisely. Perhaps you’ll land on top of him in some other movie. Wait. You already have.
What’s going on with some days? You just keep running into specific people listed in specific groups according to your past. It reminds me of a parade of failed romance, complicated crushes and disappointing flirtations.
Man. What a weekend!

Sunday, May 27, 2012

What happened to the Snow White?

Did anyone ever wonder what comes after Once upon a time?

Meet Snowy... years after the magical kiss.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

USA vs. Slovenia

I don't really know how to comment this. 

I just know I like it. 

And it's true.

Friday, May 25, 2012

All you need is love

Love matches

This piece of art by Pei-San Ng is made from 2500 matches. 

Talking about patience with love...

Image source: thecoolhunter.net

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Nice purse! Thanks. It's my ex husband.

I found this picture on FB... I bet some ladies wish it could be like that =)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Work it, baby!

The other day, while browsing All women stalk FB page, I ran into this...
Does it sound familiar to you too?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Single or no-mingle situation...?

Have you ever wondered why do we always desire what is not in our possession? Yes? No? Whatever your answer is, I am thinking about it now. Perhaps this is more a woman’s matter, since we tend to be more unsatisfied with biological choices designed before our birth. Like the thing on our head, for example (yes, I mean hair). If you have short, you’d like it to be longer; if it’s long, you’re thinking about shorter. And don’t get me started with the color. 
By the way, what do men talk about? What are they doing while manly hanging around? Drinking beer and jerking off in groups? Ok, I’m off the track again. Back. Back!
Body shape. If you’re curvy, you’d like to be thin and if you’re boobless you think Pamela Anderson (no, no, no... please, something more tasteful).
While having my mind on this subject, I’ve noticed that similar projection could be made for relationships. The singles envy couples their coupled lives and the couples envy them their freedom. Funny. If there’s some higher form of intelligence in the Universe, it’s probably having fun looking at the human race. No wonder. We are hilariously ridiculous in some way, indeed.
Why not just be fine with it?
Where are you now? No, I don’t mean where are you sitting momentarily. Try understanding this in more metaphorically. How did you come here? You’ve probably worked for it hard (if someone is reading this while imprisoned, em...this is not what I’m aiming at). Having a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/husband/wife was a plan you wanted to achieve at some point. Arranged marriages are probably not in this group, although I read somewhere that they are working just fine. Even better than those designed the western way. Anyway, if we slowly return to the not being single part. You got what you planed. Why not celebrate it instead of looking the other way?
Changing sides or simply changing partners
A prominent part of my friends changed their status or switched their partner. I’ll focus on the first. Going from relationship to single. I believe this sounds very appealing, when you think about it superficially. You can essentially do anything. Invite Adam Levine to your place in the middle of the night to have hot sweaty sex (yes, that is very reasonable. Especially in Slovenia you can meet him on the street on a daily basis. Not.); invite your newly made friends from the street to play hide and seek while being naked and dipped in Nutella bath (another reasonable idea)... Are you getting me? What the hell do you think your singleness can do that you cannot do if you’re in a relationship? 
Ok, if I meet Adam Levine and if he’ll be interested, I will not reconsider it twice. My boyfriend knows that.
Hopefully, the message is clearly visible in this story. No matter how tall dark and handsome, how blue-eyed, how gorgeous apartment and how nice it might feel kissing his perfectly shaped nose... You chose your boyfriend with a reason.
In the end they all get bald, fat and senile. Grumpy old men. That fart in their sleep. 
But you’ll remember the days you were young.
Still, is it worthy for a few memories? Yes. I guess the dying alone part and eternal loneliness is a strong reminder.

The picture is taken from a t-shirt. You can find it on http://www.a-better-tomorrow.com/

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Pick up line - short tutorial (part III)

How about that... 

Are you a single mother?

I see something... I see single life. Forever.

Seriously, dude...

Thursday, May 17, 2012


The simple mean truth grasped in a funny way...

How many likes can it get?

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Pick up lines part II or how you haven’t learned much

It’s been only month and a half, but here we are again facing communication issues among men and women (we knew about the existence of the problem before my era, I’m sure...). Apparently, first lesson was not well comprehended and we all need a repetition. These following stories are very much real, again. Unfortunately, again. However, witty. Mostly, I hope. Some are very fresh, straight from the bakery, as for others... Well, I couldn’t reveal all at once, could I?

Oh, the smell of another person...

A newly red-headed friend of mine attended quite famous marketing event (quite famous for Slovenian borders, that is). I guess meeting hot people on such occasions is relatively normal. A good looking guy approached my friend, still blond at the time (I am not making any suggestions about her intellect. She is very bright). 
Him: Mmm, you smell nice. I like your perfume. My girlfriend has one alike.
Her: Thanks.
Him: Let’s go to my room.
Ok. I’ve heard pro and con discussions are popular nowadays, therefore I’ll try to jump on the bandwagon. Pros: compliment and honesty. Con: the girlfriend part was not in good correlation with the last sentence.
Case closed.

Feather in his pants

Direct approach can be like a fresh breeze on a hot Sunday afternoon. As long as it’s not too fresh. Like a hurricane, for example. Let’s learn a thing or two on an example.
One girlfriend was visiting her foreign boyfriend. They (pronoun stands for a group, not just  two of them) went out partying. Another foreign man made a pass at her. A very unusual one. While words you’re so beautiful were flying out of his mouth, he came very very close... so close that he actually started to unzip her jeans. Em, any comments?
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case.

And another thing...

Try to steer clear of drunken boys. They are spitting while talking and truthfully, you can’t understand a thing they’re saying. It’s more or less like Sean Paul’s lyrics. You hear the sound but that’s about it.
Finally, I’d like to make an invitation. Not to be discriminating. I’d like to encourage boys to tell me some of their experience with awkwardly invented pick up lines and funky deeds. I’m sure we’re not that smart as we like to think... Because I know about my mistakes. And trust me, they’re kind of embarrassing. 

The picture is taken from www.thecoolhunter.net

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Monday, May 7, 2012

Going international or how different we really are

I’ve just met a woman, who has had a decent number of international relationships. You probably know that story about discovering together with your “new friend” how many acquaintances in common you actually have. No? Then you come from a bigger country than I do. In my hometown conversing to each other usually brings us to conclusion about the relative size of the World and this chitchat was no exception. It turned out I was about to go to a wedding, where one of her ex-boyfriends is among the invitees.
Since several top secret information have been revealed on that very day (about ex-boyfriends, gay friends, straight friends, old friends), I feel a strong urge to explain that it was a Friday afternoon and polite after work tea turned into a drinking competition. Later it came to my knowledge, that I won. Whatever. Anyway, let’s return to the story...

The kind of behavior that invented therapists...

A tall handsome dark man (yes, I’ve seen him on the wedding. He scored quite high on the “looks” scale) from another part of the Globe had several issues. At the moment I am struggling with my flashing brain where to start a story: his strange relationship with a plastic fantastic mother, his love to a special piece of cloth (more precisely, a blanket or in his words “blanky” - yes, it even had a pet name. Trust me, you do not want to know since when this invisible connection between him and his “blanky” existed. Ok, I am lying. You simply HAVE to know: since very early age of his life - when he was circumcised) or his narcissistic alliance with himself (the rumor has it, he keeps a book - sort of an album about him, so when he’s feeling down, he can go to a secret shelter and flip through the book. Evidently, I am so passé - chocolate is still my mood booster). I guess I have narrated the story despite my chaotic brain situation. Hopefully it was clear enough to grasp the core: the boy has issues. Clearly. Some sort of therapy could and should be suggested, however, who am I to judge. Let’s move on...

Being eco or is eco just an excuse?

In October 2011 I had a traveling spree. In Europe. Mostly two-hour flights from home. I met some friends to be, or - how I like to call them - candidates for future foreign friends. Even before I came to one of the European countries I had heard gossip about their supposedly stinginess. You can’t make any assumptions according to rumors, so, honestly, I had completely forgotten about it. Then I had met this non-native guy, who had a native boyfriend. Once upon a time they were grocery shopping. Something to eat when your not in a cooking mood. Something to put in the microwave when you come home. Something just around the corner.
The non-native guy expected they’ll go immediately to their crib and prepare this high calorie meal in an American movie style (you know, when the character puts frozen food in the microwave and talks on the phone while doing it). For they had been just around the corner. Well, wrong.
The man in the shop offered to microwave the meal for them and the native guy agreed. Myself, the non-native guy and you are probably asking why??? It’s just around the corner! However, there was been a reason. The native guy decided to save some energy. Eco friendly of simply stingy?

All different = all equal

There are definitely good reasons to be so diverse. Embrace it. And make fun of it. You know what they say... Laughter has many health benefits :)

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Relaxing and not working...

This Tuesday Miss Lady Surgeon is on vacation. And it's my birthday. Therefore, I will just say... Until next Tuesday!