Women tend to fantasize on a regular basis in comparison to men. Lack of imagination? Or simply lost of touch with firm grounds? It makes no difference whatsoever. The fact is a fact. And it remains there regardless of reasoning. I came to thinking about this precise subject over some recent happening with the two friends of mine. A he and a she. He was a classic example of him, she was a schoolbook case of her. They have managed to get involved on a level higher than age of innocence, when innocence turned guilty. Guilty as charged. From storybook's point of view this ship was caught in a light breeze which made its progress effortlessly through the sea of love with no visible storm ahead. From 21st century's point of view the breeze was about to become a hurricane. Why is that so, many of you (especially men), might ask. Well, let me explain...
Women, correction, most women are capable of inventing some sort of reality after sleeping with a man. Their reality, that has nothing to do with the actual one, hence my conclusion about fantasizing in a daily routine. After some bedroom activities comes thinking about him. Not just a thought or two here and there, but serious full-time job type. When the burden of self-induced thoughts explodes out of handling proportions, it's time to call in some backup. Less subjective judges, also known as the friends. Since I don't want to be too harsh on women, I'll only mention subtly that those judges are (almost) never less subjective, since the procedure of bringing out conclusions goes through the same wheels in the brain. Analysis of every single detail worthy of a PhD thesis comes into full swing. However, results are vague (as in great part of PhD thesis). To be quite honest, there are still unsolved mysteries about the chicken and the egg, so how can we expect to deciphre man's way of perceiving women? Not by inventing umpteen versions of the same story (with happy ending, of course), I can tell you that.
If we look at the male version of after sex thinking, you shall soon be able to conclude, why there's a breeze turning to a hurricane...
So, men, on the other hand, forget about details. They actually stop thinking about you and go to work. They hang out with their friends not even mentioning your existence. Some of them are dating in between and praying upon other women. They go to gym, they eat and most of all they live. Have you noticed how much shorter this paragraph is? Do you understand? They live. We should think about doing the same instead of spending worthless hours discussing petty details and reviving memories. Go out. Laugh. Smile. Flirt. And most of all... If you want to see him, call him. It's not that he doesn't want to, he is just busy. Doing other things.
The prettiest conclusion is that that hurricane will become a light breeze again, when we realize the simplicity of male functioning. Yes, it is that simple...
Please, grab your phones, log in to chat, do your thing. And enjoy.
xoxo
In the cold winter days I tend to have plenty of tea, coffee and everything liquid, that can warm you up. Since I am pretty talkative I like to do it in company. Friendly company. So, I sat down with sort of a friend of mine. Sort of, because we see each other so rarely, however, we have managed to bare with our atypical relationship for years. She mentioned something has happened to her and she needed someone to talk to, hence the tea time in the city centre.
Recently she has been thinking about sleeping with her long time friend. She knew him for years, fancied him even longer and that was that. The feeling turned out to be mutual, yet they have remained just friends. Until very recently. The passion went through the roof and there was no way to resist the inevitable... I almost didn't dare to ask how was it. Almost. Her expression made me think in was Amazing with a capital A. Her nod confirmed it. So, what went wrong that a drink with me was in total need...? He didn't call, didn't text.
Oh...! I forgot to mention. She has someone. A boyfriend. A boyfriend that's not her longtime friend she was banging. But that doesn't change the post-sex protocol, that every man should know. No matter if you're rolling in the hay with married, single or just boyfriend-ized woman.
Lesson no. 1
Check how she is. Especially if she has a boyfriend and you have known her since you were practically kids. She will need support. She has just done a horrible thing (the cheating part, I mean) and she has poor sleep quality, let alone quantity. Just send the f*** message. Take her to a coffee. I believe there are not many people she can talk about this precise night. Yes? Yes.
That goes also for single women. Just let her know you are thinking about her. Unless it was a one-night stand and you don't even know her name. Or she doesn't know yours. And you don't have each other's numbers. Emails. Whatever.
Lesson no. 2
From what I heard, if the sex is amazing, you will probably try to repeat the deed regardless the immoral taste it left behind. If the feeling was mutual, you should let her know. And plan ahead. The kinky part.
If the feeling wasn't mutual... Well, that's where you start ignoring her. And that can have consequences on the friendship. At least for a while. Mending it is difficult and time consuming. However, possible.
After re-reading these paragraphs, I have realized I am pretty immoral. No lectures about being a cheating girlfriend, no sermon, no nothing. Well, I am not the one to judge. We will have to leave that for other occasions.
xoxo
December brought first snow, holiday lightning and - our favorite - mulled wine. Freezing temperatures, light rain, fog and demonstrations against our government couldn't have stopped us from having our one, two, three cups of mulled wine. The company was sublime, as I have managed to gather (almost) all of my favorite people.
I really can't handle my drink, even if it comes in the form of cooked and half evaporated alcohol (perhaps something to do with the fact that my last meal was about 6 hours prior to my first and not last cup of mulled wine). Since almost every man in my presence had the need to pay for at least one round, I was hugging, loving and generally so excited about my friends by the early evening. Well, at least I am "fond of people", not "drama queen" type while being a bit intoxicated.
A good friend of mine was also present and she has just acquainted me with her new male friend. She was in a right mood to confess they have been having wild sex for a while. And she couldn't get enough of it (the sex and the man).
We kept chitchatting, accompanied with mulled wine without exception. At one point I had to stop drinking, my limit has been crossed a while ago, or better yet, I couldn't see the limit line for quite a while. In this moment - more aware of surrounding people, I have noticed something else had stopped as well. Being around. My friend was gone and so was her friend...
No limits
As she suddenly reappeared, I have noticed a strange glow on her face. To a professional eye this glow looked as one thing and one thing only. They've just been doing it. I wanted details. I needed details.
In the old town there are very tiny alleys and even if the centre is crowded, you can still get away to a secret spot and have some privacy (or so we hope). They found such a place, suitable for some canoodling and a bit more. Pants down, legs up - you know the routine... As she was explaining where, how and more importantly how long, all I could think was: Honey, if can get it up after so much wine and perform in such a freezing temperatures... Then, he's a keeper.
Cheers to that!
xoxo
P.S. As for me... I left my car downtown and took a cab. It was a stressful day ;)
It is commonly believed that having sex with more than one person at a time is scandalous. Sure, it can be awkward in some situations (I can't stop thinking about the Borgias. The rumor has it that Rodrigo Lanzol Borgia's (Pope Alexander VI) daughter and son were involved in orgies together with their father, the Pope). Ok, awkward is probably constant follower, especially the day after; however, the feeling is obviously not strong enough to repel, otherwise people wouldn't be doing it for centuries. I have a sense it is sort of like being drunk. You know, talking rubbish, doing shameful deeds... And drinking again, although the moral factor did some damage the next day.
Let's talk some details and recent group activities, before judging...
The parking lot
A schoolmate of mine happened to be very promiscuous in her high school age. That's why it caught me by surprise to hear that she has had a child and is all serious nowadays. Still, it hasn't caught me by surprise to hear about one certain night on a parking lot. There was a threesome. Nothing unusual so far. Disturbing factor is probably the fact, that the person involved was a brother of another schoolmate, who she fancied for years, and some other guy (I have no idea about his background). Well, she used her childless years fruitfully (...interesting choice of words).
After art
Being an artist brings some perks regarding what is or what is not acceptable in life. So, the next story is fine in every aspect. That is if you are an artist.
A gallery opening was held on one warm night in one capital of one country. Plenty of arty and non-arty crowds, food and drinks. After bottles were half empty and the non-arty crowd sat in their cabs to get their drunk asses home, the arty crowd remained. Expecting something more. Who started the little Eyes wide shut game is of no importance (and, I have no idea about that). The reality was that that night couples weren't couples anymore, they became bigger clusters of naked people pretending to be in a movie. Is it necessary to mention that some couples were never couples again after that? Even the artist aren't what they used to be...
Not a real gang bang - but it sure must have felt like it
One acquaintance felt really bored at one point of her life. It was time to mix things up, so she found a very hopping way to do that. Bed hopping, that is. She wasn't actually dating anyone, but she sure made her bed as busy as possible. She was fucking four guys for a long period of time, many times on a same day. They just came in different shifts, as did she.
I remember she had hard times sitting on a coffee, not because her legs were restless, but because her vagina felt as if gone through a war.
I believe she stopped working shifts because she couldn't sit at her office desk normally, not because of any moral barriers. This story is kind of inspiring...
So, to conclude let me summarize: different people, different appetites.
Enjoy
xoxo
Gosh, how I love creative weekends... And by creative I mean spending time with my girlfriends. This time it was the seaside. Although there was a lot of sleeping (just plain sleeping - the old-fashioned way, no bed hopping or anything promiscuous), some intriguing conversations were involved. Among us mostly, but that doesn't mean there's nothing new to add or, better yet, learn.
I always thought male equipment is divided to short, long, circumcised, uncircumcised, too big for hand-grab, too small for hand-grab and just right for hand-grab. Well, it came to my knowledge that there is much more behind this simple math that I've been living by for many many years.
Just to mention few, let me start with the worst kind. Cone-shaped dick. Apparently I can be extremely happy not to have encountered one on my journey of penis stories. According to my secret information source (perhaps penis moles?) cone-shaped dicks are a punishment for women. Physically and mentally (the latter because it takes much pretending to enjoy the activity). After first closer confrontation with the monster there is only one thing to do. And one thing only. To avoid the second rendezvous. My friend simply didn't answer the phone. For many times. It seems that the cone-shaped dick licked... ups, liked her, though.
Momentarily, mushroom season is off the topic, however, there's a certain type of mushrooms we need to mention. Again, I have no idea, what were they talking about, nonetheless, my penis moles didn't really approve mushroom type of penis. The head is oversized for the rest of it, so after first exciting seconds, inevitable disappointment follows. Waiting for something to happen... no. No proper action whatsoever.
Have you heard of a perfect penis? My friend's new boyfriend is in possession of a sample, as reported by the lady in question. Why do I know that? Simply because she is yapping about it constantly. When I hear the phrase Have I told you about his perfect dick? the hair on my neck stand up. Yes, she repeated it so many times that even grandmothers on the bus have heard the rumor, probably. Nevertheless, such jewels evidently exist. And girls love them. Boy, do they love them.
And now, last but not least, circumcised ones, or cabriolet, as we like to call them. I think I don't stand alone, if I name the group interesting. Geographically they are pretty rare in our European area, but I would give them thumbs up. Other ladies who have tested that kind of an instrument would more or less agree on the matter.
So, what's your favorite shape? Something to think and dream about...
xoxo
P.S. Watch this trailer.
Year 2010 seemed to be a disaster for many relationships. At least - so they say - in numerological terms. Also, 2011 and 2012 (I am not sure if numerology is to blame for that, too). So, how it all started...
Apparently with boring sex life. Or no sex life at all.
I have a friend, thirty-something woman. She has been in a marriage like relationship with a year or two younger man for many many years. As we became very close friends over the years, the truth about her sex life came round. Not a typical story for a hot (she is REALLY hot) woman and an attractive man. The only thing their sheets were used for was sleeping. And I mean tight good night sleeping. Solely. It turned out he has not been interested in her for years. Naked breasts in the morning pressed against his back, rubbing, touching... nothing! No reaction whatsoever.
Other things were going in a normal way, whatever that means for different kinds of people...
Then, something and someone got in her way. No, we're not getting straight to it just yet... He was a business associate and an obvious friend to be. Occasional drink, dinner from time to time and lovely chitchats. Life was beautiful and suddenly interesting - again.
Arrival of a confession of an attraction could be smelled from a distance. The predicted complication happened. She was utterly against any kind of duplicity. However, every action has a reaction and this one came to be a very impulsive one. Yes. The sex begins here. A very nasty sweaty head-knocking-up-against-the-headboard sex. Ah. Finally. She was alive!
So, she was alive several times a day sometimes, alive in the car, on the way to work, in a hotel, on a romantic weekend away, even while actually feeling the earthquake - no, not an orgasm, a real earthquake, although it seemed to be only in the her head.
These days she is getting informative texts about his erections then an there only by thinking about her. Supported by pictures from time to time. Even I am completely satisfied since there is something to write about. At last!
Everybody's happy.
Lesson? It is not a lie that women in their thirties are animalistic in bed. Oh, what is yet to come for some of us...
P.S. What happend to her boyfriend? I haven't heard of him for a while now...
