Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Pick up lines tutorial or how Harry wouldn’t have met Sally if he had said the wrong things

A lesson about appropriate approach

“Do you shave or wax?”

No, it’s not a line taken from a beautician’s salon. It’s a real life tragedy which occured in a pretty known club where I live. My good friend was involved in a bizarre conversation that ended abruptly. I sincerely hope I do NOT need to explain why. Nevertheless, just in case...
Most women like straightforward men. Nothing wrong with knowing what or who your target is, and the scope you want to achieve. The strategy in-between you and the desired object is, however, crucial for success. Now, back to “shaving/waxing situation”. Really, there is so little to discuss about that particular happening. If nothing else, we - that is me, my friend in question and the others - had a really good laugh, when she told us about the unfortunate wording the guy used. On the other hand, some ladies can be pretty aggressive... You might even get physically attacked! 
Let me summarize this story with daring question: Is your goal to be a laughing target or punching bag?

“All men want only one thing...”

Yes, and all women know what that thing is. At least the smart ones.
This exceptional conversation started on a pleasant night downtown one capital city. Strangely, the man pronouncing funky opening line was handsome, so my astonishment was even bigger. When he mentioned “the one thing”, he made a pause. Not only he started this from the beginning doomed conversation, but he also expected me to finish the sentence. Seriously? Sadly, yes. Where I come from we have a suitable saying. It does not translate really well, but I’ll make an effort: only filthy swine has filthy thoughts. Hopefully you have understood the message.

The other or the bright side

I always like to conclude with optimism and luckily there have been some good pick up line examples in my résumé.
Once upon a time, when I was phoning on the corner in front of a bar, emmiting the obvious signals of waiting for someone, a guy approached me. He said: “Sorry I kept you waiting.” Though I was in the middle of the conversation, my mind felt intrigued.
I still think this was one of the best pick up lines in the history of all pick up lines. The fact that the guy was missing a front tooth will probably ruin the impression, but I felt the urge to explain why the line didn’t work. In addition to a fact, that I had a boyfriend.

Imagination on the loose

With my co-workers from the previous job interesting chitchats were on the daily menu. Inventing - or better yet - talking about pick up lines took place on one sunny day in the office. I will never forget this smart yet witty pick up line we talked about...
Boy: How much does a mammoth weight?
Girl: Dunno.
Boy: Enough to break the ice.
Girl (laughing)
This imaginary story has a lot of presumptions, such as: if in a foreign country, a girl should speak English. Also, she has to reply, that that scientific data is not in her knowledge.
The fact is that real life situations can be tricky. For this particular reason we eventually forgive and start to laugh. Besides, women can be silly too. But that is already another story... Involving a pick up line such as: “Did you fart?” Perhaps I’ll explain this certain matter some other time. I have no intentions of making us feel silly. Yet :)
P.S. Old-fashioned “Would you like to grab a coffee?” might work. Plain and simple. No agenda (or so it seems). Coffee can be just a coffee... but also something more.

Pictures sources: 


  1. Disaster recipe:

    BOY: If you buy me a drink I'll let you kiss me.
    GIRL: (leaves immediately)


  2. ahaahaha jst bi vzela pijačo pa šla ;)))

  3. To je zelo pragmatično od tebe :)

  4. "Did you fart?" actually works!!! I was there! I saw the half naked guy run after the cool chick who simply replied: "we're sure to bump into each other on... FACEBOOK!!!" Poor guy...

  5. It worked because the chick in question looked like taken from underwear catalog. He was totally roasted =)

  6. Proverbs are usually fiendishly difficult to translate directly...I like your job on the "filthy swine", though...:)