Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The night my mobile phone should've stayed in

Do you know that feeling when you open your eyes in the "morning" (after noon) and the room is still feverishly moving around you? Yes? Everybody does.
Do you know that feeling when you open your eyes in the "morning" (before noon, because your hangover is disturbing your sleep) and the room is still feverishly dancing around you and you suddenly receive flashbacks of the night before? Yes? How about that...
Do you know that feeling when you open your eyes in the "morning" (eh, it is not important anymore) and the room is still feverishly dancing around you and you suddenly restore some parts of your lost memory and you are rapidly sobered up by text messages? No, you are not popular. The phone is not ringing. You made someone else popular last night with shameful, tasteless and uncensored texting that spoke your mind exactly as it was. The cruel reality...

Walking with a bag on you head for a month...

Let's say you fancy someone. Polite flirting, phone number exchange... everything went according to a plan secretly stored and locked in your head. You are alpha and omega of making your crush like you. So, why isn't he writing more often? What in the name of Eros happened? Is my plan outdated? Why hasn't he invited me to a coffee yet? It seems you are getting lost in the labyrinth of you hectic thoughts, however, to your own luck, your sober sanity is still there. You are playing hard to get, hell - you invented the game - and have no intention of texting whatsoever. Even though your mind plays tricks on you and from time to time your concentration drops, you still manage to get by and do all the work. You're the man (metaphorically speaking). By the evening he is long forgotten.
Because of all the hard thinking and other work you've done, now's the time to relax and revitalize with your friends. Just a quick refined drink and you're off. Back home preparing for yet another successful working day. However, this elegant evening got interrupted somewhere between third and fourth drink, when you already made peace with yourself about just being spontaneous. And speaking of it... how harmful could it be to write one short text message? Please. You are an adult perfectly capable of restraining yourself, right? Wrong. This civilized behavior turned into a texting contest - mostly to yourself - and by the time you've realized that no one hasn't replied for a while, you could not care less. That is, until the next morning. When the last of the scenarios above projected in your head. Not checking what you wrote last night, would have been the smartest thing to do, nevertheless, your curiosity have won. Wow. The extent of perversion to which a human mind can go. Wow. Amazing. Marquis de Sade would have been proud. All in all you cannot seem to decide why wasn't he replying anymore - perhaps he was masturbating all along and fell asleep in the middle, or his pure mind was completely destroyed by your filthy talk and he had to purify himself again by physical punishment? Or, and this is something you dislike, he is just not that into you?
Whatever the answer might be, you feel shame run through your body like electricity. Well, what's done is done. Next time... there will be no next time, because:

...or simply leaving your mobile at home?


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

A dangerous method of mulled wine

December brought first snow, holiday lightning and - our favorite - mulled wine. Freezing temperatures, light rain, fog and demonstrations against our government couldn't have stopped us from having our one, two, three cups of mulled wine. The company was sublime, as I have managed to gather (almost) all of my favorite people.
I really can't handle my drink, even if it comes in the form of cooked and half evaporated alcohol (perhaps something to do with the fact that my last meal was about 6 hours prior to my first and not last cup of mulled wine). Since almost every man in my presence had the need to pay for at least one round, I was hugging, loving and generally so excited about my friends by the early evening. Well, at least I am "fond of people", not "drama queen" type while being a bit intoxicated. 

A good friend of mine was also present and she has just acquainted me with her new male friend. She was in a right mood to confess they have been having wild sex for a while. And she couldn't get enough of it (the sex and the man).
We kept chitchatting, accompanied with mulled wine without exception. At one point I had to stop drinking, my limit has been crossed a while ago, or better yet, I couldn't see the limit line for quite a while. In this moment - more aware of surrounding people, I have noticed something else had stopped as well. Being around. My friend was gone and so was her friend...

No limits

As she suddenly reappeared, I have noticed a strange glow on her face. To a professional eye this glow looked as one thing and one thing only. They've just been doing it. I wanted details. I needed details.
In the old town there are very tiny alleys and even if the centre is crowded, you can still get away to a secret spot and have some privacy (or so we hope). They found such a place, suitable for some canoodling and a bit more. Pants down, legs up - you know the routine... As she was explaining where, how and more importantly how long, all I could think was: Honey, if can get it up after so much wine and perform in such a freezing temperatures... Then, he's a keeper.

Cheers to that!


P.S. As for me... I left my car downtown and took a cab. It was a stressful day ;)

Sunday, December 2, 2012

A quick guide or how to handle women

Recently I had a very pleasant drink with my ex-schoolmate. Not only is he incredible good-looking, he is also smart and fun to talk to (yes, I hope he reads this). Every now and then we grab a drink together and talk about, well, everything.
As the chitchat went on on this particular evening, the subject shifted to another level... Relationships, former, ongoing, men, women, sex and women again. More precisely what women want and why men can't understand them. This has been already discussed several times, mostly in books (Men are from Mars, women are from Venus has some good points, though), movies, TV shows... And no one seems to know the solution to the equation. 
Now, back to the story... I must admit, I felt kind of special, because he has chosen me to talk to about that and even more special because he needed an advice. There was something in it for me, too... I got  my blog idea (he agreed I can use it) :)

We talked about handling women. About having a guide to women's unexplainable behavior that no one can understand, even women occasionally (please, refer to the picture on the left... it might explain a lot).

Why are we interested in a guy, and than suddenly not anymore? I was thinking about it a lot... Women fall for another interesting man in short time, I guess, nevertheless, it seems men are pretty much the same regarding that. 
When women feel up to it, just grab a chance. It might disappear quickly, as we tend to change our minds frequently (just look at our hair, nails, style... hey, even the last name, though that's a bit trickier lately).

I find it difficult to speak for whole gender in general. From my experience and umpteen hours of conversing with ladies, I can summarize it with this: be bold. No, not bald, that's not very appealing, although with age it seems that's not a deal breaker anymore. Why not taking risks? The worse thing that can happen is a no. And no is already there from the beginning. If you don't approach is a no, since there was no chance to become a yes. How many time have we received no in life? How many are yet to come? No one's ever lost life because of a rejection (ok, I can think of silly examples, but that's not the point), just a bit of dignity, and that heals in time eventually.
I am a fan of Katy B, so the easiest thing to do is to listen this song, which in my opinion grasps the basics of what women want. Of course, until there are days like "I don't know".

Good luck and good night.