Thursday, April 5, 2012

Decisions decisions or splitting the bill - a new etiquette of courtship

We live in a time where there are some difficulties with decisions. From the most simple ones, such as “Should I buy another pair of shoes?” to the most complicated occuring as a rule in the morning: “What to wear?!?” I am sure the answer to the first question is logical... (YES!) As for the other... it’s a bit trickier.
I would really like to present a certain issue. Or, better yet, let us be positively oriented and call it a challenge. So much better. I am sure some employers would love me. Seeing challenges instead of problems. Now, back to the topic... 
Since we live in capitalism it would be so unfair to shut our eyes wide about the popular phrase cruising the world about some ladies: gold digging whore. My sincere appologies for the strong language. The phrase spread the wings over the globe so much, that a not-meant-to-be-harmful coffee that I am not paying for, became an enemy. So, where is the line?

Should we expect of a man to take care of the bill?

If in France, yes. Or so I heard - from my French teacher. According to him women in France don’t even leave the house with a wallet. Supposedly it’s normal for French men to take care of the finance while going out. I’ve never experienced that. While being in France, of course. Perhaps I went to Paris with a wrong crowd. They were obviously not French.

Acting coy

Some men like to think their bank account displays a 7-digit number and bumping into one of them on the street always results in many drinks paid by the imaginary millionaire. I play along. And never grab my wallet. If he wants to keep appearances, so let it be. I usually end up being drunk, you?

50 - 50 option

An acquaintance of mine used to date men that were quite well off. And they were more than willing to contribute for her atributes. With gifts, dinners and all the things that come along with playing a sugar daddy role. Until she met someone. Someone she actually liked. Spending time on the seaside is something you usually do with a boyfriend and so they did. He took care of the money issue without exceptions. Heavenly, I would dare to say. 
You have probably heard of the following saying, no, I am 100% you have: there’s no such a thing as free lunch. And while talking about percentage, I might also mention that the settlement arrived. On the last day. On a sheet of paper. With listed expenses. From a previous week. Split up. Half-half. 50%-50%.
She had no idea this little vacation was a down payment for the bill that was yet to come. She paid for it. Fair and square.

Taking turns

The topic speaks for itself. My turn, your turn, my turn, your turn... This pattern mostly works with my lady friends. Not for all, of course. Some can’t remember their turn. Ever.

Depending from initiator

I like to follow this simple rule: if on a date (or just a coffee), and the invitation was my idea, I would like to pay for a drink, food, whatever. However, the final result depends from the person on the other side. It can be 50-50 or zero for me. Sometimes I might “argue”, knowing that I will not have any success. For some men are gentlemen. No matter what.

Photography was taken by a good friend of mine while waiting for another friend to arrive and grab a coffee. Thanks.

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